Shedding Your Suit of Armor

Shedding Your Suit of Armor: The Art of Vulnerability

Let’s get one thing straight: vulnerability is not the Instagram version of deep, reflective moments or heartfelt, tear-streaked confessions that you’ve seen in viral self-help posts. No, my friends, the vulnerability journey is more like jumping into a freezing lake—your body’s immediately telling you to run, and every instinct screams to cover up and protect yourself. And yet, after that icy plunge, there’s this strange, almost foreign feeling of relief. But why do we run away from it in the first place? Why does vulnerability feel like such a high-stakes game?

I’ll tell you: it’s because, like most things in life, it’s complicated. Vulnerability isn’t just some “new age” buzzword. It’s messy, it’s unpredictable, and it often brings up a cocktail of emotions that we’d rather avoid. And yet, we still crave it. It’s the secret sauce to deeper relationships, intimacy, and connection. But as anyone who’s ever worn a “suit of armor” (and trust me, we all have one) can tell you—it’s damn hard to take off.

Why the Armor?

Let’s break this down with some science, shall we? Our brains are wired to protect us from perceived harm. Enter: the negativity bias. This lovely little survival mechanism was once essential when we lived in caves and had to outrun saber-toothed tigers. In today’s world, though, it shows up when we fear judgment, rejection, or getting our hearts shattered. That’s why we build armor—walls made of past disappointments, betrayals, and heartbreaks. We think if we hide behind them, we’ll be safe. But here’s the catch: in doing so, we also block ourselves off from the very connections we crave.

What happens when we start shedding that armor? Well, that’s where the magic happens—if you’re willing to go there. I know, it’s scary. I, too, have fallen victim to the fear of vulnerability. And when I’m feeling vulnerable, what do I do? I get angry. I get defensive. I shut down. Because disappointment has taught me that letting someone in means leaving myself open to hurt. So, I react with rage instead. I fight. I freeze. I avoid. Sound familiar?

Vulnerability Isn’t Just About Sadness—it’s About Relating

I’m willing to bet you can relate to this dance of emotions. We all have our triggers. Maybe your response is to shut down, or perhaps you go into emotional overdrive. But here’s the hard truth—vulnerability isn’t just about feeling sad or rejected. It’s about connecting. It’s about allowing yourself to be seen—not as a perfect version of yourself but as a real, raw, and imperfect human being. And yes, that’s terrifying.

Take a minute and think about it: When do you feel most vulnerable? Is it when you tell someone how much they mean to you? Is it when you share a moment of failure or fear? It’s different for everyone, but one thing is certain: vulnerability makes us real. And real people—authentic people—are the ones who experience the deepest connections.

The Truth About Loneliness: It's Not Just About Being Alone

Here’s a punch in the gut: Loneliness is epidemic. But don’t take my word for it—statistics say it all. A recent survey from Cigna found that 61% of Americans report feeling lonely. That’s over half the population! In an age where social media should be connecting us, we’re more isolated than ever. Why? Because texting, Instagram likes, and the occasional “heart emoji” aren’t cutting it. We’ve traded face-to-face conversation for shallow digital exchanges that leave us feeling empty.

What’s the solution? You guessed it: vulnerability. And that’s not some fluffy advice—it’s a scientifically-backed necessity. According to Brene Brown, vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, and connection. The more we open up, the more we allow others to open up to us. But the key is to start small, step by step. You don’t have to dive headfirst into the deepest emotional waters right away. You don’t need to rip the armor off all at once.

It’s a Process: Let’s Do This Together

Vulnerability is a practice. A slow and steady journey. But here’s the most important part: you’re not alone. You don’t need to do this by yourself. You can take small, manageable steps to open up—whether it’s with a close friend, a partner, or even a therapist. Trust me, no one becomes vulnerable overnight, and that’s okay. It’s about progress, not perfection.

So let’s make a pact. Let’s start shedding our armor, piece by piece, together. It’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to take baby steps. But here’s what’s not okay: staying stuck in that armor forever, hiding behind the fear of getting hurt. You deserve more than that. You deserve connection.

And if you need a little help navigating this vulnerable journey, well… I know where you can find me.

Ready to let go of that armor? Let’s get to work.

#relationshipadvice #relationshipgrowth #therelationshipprescriber #vulnerability